LOVERS' QUARREL SOUP

Dedicated to my husband, Jose Miguel, whose eyes light

up when I do silly things...

I love you...Te quiero....Je T'aime!!!

There is a cozy little bistro in the City of Lights called Chez La Guillotine that

serves a French Onion Soup that is to die for. It is located down by the Sien River

on Rue Bon Apetit. Folks go to relax, wine and dine in a casual, friendly setting.

The light brown paint is flaking off the walls and the old wood floors are worn down,

but...be prepared to wait for a table if you want a taste of the scrumptious soup!

It's owner, Chef Jean-Pierre Camberbert du Foundue, was passionate about his

onion soup. Bowl, after bowl, after bowl, after bowl, after bowl, he prepared with

love.

He spent hours and hours and hours and hours and hours cooking...His soup

was so delicious because of "le consome" , or beef stock he prepared daily.

Early in the morning, Chef du Fondue would be the first to arrive at the bistro to start

the base of his popular soup. He would heat le olive oil in le pan and then, he would

add le beef shanks in carefully.

When well browned on both sides, it was time to drain the oil, and add le rest of the ingredients.

Le Leeks, le carrots, le tomatoes, le celery, le parsnips, le parsley,les onions,

le bell pepper, le garlic, les whole black pepper, le salt. Then he would cover all

with water.

Jean-Pierre brought it to a boil....and that reminded him of the woman he loved...

Marie-Lu-Lu Le Brie. A monumental woman whose beauty deserved to be guarded

in The Louvre. Her laughter was as bubbly as Champagne. Her eyes could light

Le Eiffel Tower in the darkest night, and her kisses...oh her kisses ...as sweet

as creme burlee!!! He took his wallet out and contemplated her photo..

"Oh, la la!!! Je t'aime Marie Lu-Lu Le Brie!!!" he murmured at the

photo. His heart was beating fast. and his temperature rising!!!

He went and sliced onions very thin. A mountain of onions!!!

Next he sauteed them in olive oil, medium-low heat adding a dash of salt

and keeping watch...stirring them often until caramelized....

THERE WAS A FAMILIAR KNOCK AT LE BACK DOOR....

HE RUSHED TO OPEN!

It was Marie Lu-Lu. Everyday she delivered the bread for her lover's famous soup.

She kissed him 14 times as the French do and said...........

"Wee nees to tak, mon amour!"

"Mon cheri...yu know je t'aime, butz... I most toasts le breads!..it weel

just have to waits!!! I promise we wees talk later. OUI?

"Ajjjjjjjjjjj! Jean-Pierre you sink more abouts le breads than me. Yu have

upset me...I will drinks the vine!!!"

"Mon little flowerj! How cans yu say thats!! Ands vat are doins drinking!

Euuuuuhhh......It's six thirtty in the moring!!!"

"Oh! Whats? I can nodrink the vine? Yu do nots wants to talk....So

I drink! Yu do nots love me... Yu love the soup

" C'est ne pas possible!!! I do, I do, loves yu....buts, La Guillotine

wills open in a few hours and I haven'ts even toasted le bread!!!"

"OH, PARDON!!! LE BREAD HAS TO BEES TOASTED!!! THATZ IS

MORE IMPORTANTS THANS WHATS I HAVES TO TELL YU!!!

"AAHHHHJJJJJ!!! SACRE BLU!!!!!!!!!WHATZ IS WRONGS WITH YOU TODAYS!!!!!!

I JUST WANTZ TO TOAST LE BREADS!!!!"

"Wells, thens do it!! Toast itz....see if I care!!!"

"Womans, who ares yu?"

"Ex-cu-CE MOI? Dids I hear yu correctly? Whos am I????

WHOS AM I?????

"C'est moi! Le woman that feels alone....yu spent more time wiz the onions

thans wiz mee...yu live for your broth...nots for mee!!!

YU HAVE UPSET MEE... I WILL EATS LE BREAD!!!

"NO!! NO!! NO!!! NOT LE BREAD!!!I NEEDS IT FOR LE FRENCH ONION

SOUP!!!

"Thats is all I hear...everyday...day after day...le soup...le soup...

blah, blah, blah, BLAH!!!!"

Jean-Pierre lost his nerves and shouted..."Marie Lu-Lu!!! Leave

Le Guillotine before I loose my head!!!" And he drank the vine....

Marie Lu-Lu cried....and cried....and cried.....But....before she left.....

She threw her shoe at Jean-Pierre hitting him in the head....and then

stormed out of La Guillotine!!!

Jean-Pierre stood in his kitchen...wondering what had happened to the love of

his life! He would call her later, but now the crew was coming in...and he needed to

continue with the soup.

He toasted the bread...not too light...not too dark. Just perfect!

Then he took out dozens of ceramic bowls and put onions, bread....

Grated Swiss cheese or sliced....and more onions....

more bread....

more onions....then he filled with the beef broth ...more Swiss cheese to cover it all

and then he sprinkled with Parmesan cheese so that it would turn a golden brown when

baked in the oven...

When he was done with all the bowls, he immediately called Marie Lu-Lu to see how

she was doing. He started feeling bad ...all she wanted was a minute of his time to say

something that was important to her...and he didn't listen!

The restaurant was about to open the doors for lunch, but Jean-Pierre, for the first

time told his other chefs they were in charge. He was going home!

When Marie Lu-Lu opened the door to their home and saw it was Jean-Pierre she

could not believe he took off from work ....from his soup ...to come and talk...to say

he was sorry!

She gave him a sweet kiss ....and said, "Mon amour! Yu has made mee so

happy. I can'ts beelive you left La Guillotine! I ....am so sorrys ...I just

wanted to tells yu iz wee are havings a baby!!!"

Jean-Pierre was so excited that he promised he would spend more time home....

She asked, " Buts, how? Le broth takes so longs!!!"

He answered, "With this I will save time!"

-"What a fantastic idea!!! Yu will do thats for mee?"

-"OUI, mon amour....I will do thats and more!' he said lovingly...

-"Jean-Pierre ....I haves a craving", she said with her eyes wide open.

-"Whats...I will run for yu"

-" I woulds like some Le French Onion Soup!!!"

OH, LA LA!!!!!!!!!